Dear Dr N-  Things are a little dry,  not sure where to turn. Help.

Dear Help-  This IS a confusing topic.  There are many otc lubricants and some on line.  It is a very personal choice for you and your partner.  First of all make sure there is adequate foreplay for a woman.  This is what lead to lubrication through the vaginal walls,  arousal.  What arouses one, does not another.  It can take longer than 5″  ,  I suggest couples work on the ten minute kiss and find erogenous zones for each other.  Then there are glycerine based, water based, silicone based lubricants and also natural oils that are safe to use.  Samplers can be purchased on line to see which one works best for you.  I also recommend coconut oil or organic vegetable oil that is odorless,  it has a nice consistency and does not have alot of additives or preservatives.  Remember, what goes in the vagina can be absorbed into odothe body.  The warming agents can be irritating or arousing, it is an individual choice, but usually not well received.  Also make sure it is not a hormonal problem because estrogen can improve the ability of the vagina to lubricate and can be placed directly there to avoid systemic effects.  Good Luck- hope that helps.  Dr N